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Destiny, Dynasty, and Dignity

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

By: Andrew McLain

(WDNG) - Destiny is defined as an event or result that is "meant to happen". It is a force you cannot stop. Something you cannot change. It will just happen and there is nothing anyone else can do about it. Most fans of a championship team believe that their team is a product of destiny, even if it isn't true. No one knows why destiny peeks its head into college football so often -- or even why it loves the SEC so much -- but the fact is that it does. From Rod Bramblett losing his mind as he screams "Touchdown Auburn!" repeatedly in the 43-38 win over Georgia to the ensuing 2 weeks after as Chris Davis runs back a failed field goal attempt, "Auburn's gonna win the football game!" shrieks through the radio airwaves like the brakes on a 1992 Oldsmobile with $4000 worth of rims. This has never been so painfully obvious. Auburn is 2013's "Team of Destiny".

The Crimson Tide were the unsuspecting victims of the greatest Iron Bowl in recent history, if not all time. Everything seemed perfectly placed as the table was set for Alabama to take home its third consecutive National Championship when dynasty was rerouted by destiny. You could hear the air being let out of Tuscaloosa as if someone pulled the valve stems from the tires of every mobile home in the city. After the initial shock of the 2nd miracle in Jordan-Hare Stadium in 2 weeks wore off, all hell broke loose. Everything from tweeted death threats towards special teams personnel to petitions demanding the NCAA force an overtime rematch started to occur. The "We Want Bama" chants slowly turned into "We Want Bama to calm down." For most fans, it is just a football game. Even without acquiring a third championship in 3 years, there is still reason to celebrate success. For the citizens of the United States of Saban, it's their livelihood. The world had stopped spinning. Lives have come to a screeching hault. The team from the "Barn College" was not suppose to be Iron Bowl champions. Not this year. Yet destiny had different plans and so it was written in the history books of college football.

As the dust settled and the cremated ashes were removed from Pat Dye Field, the rumors that Nick Saban would possibly be the next coach of the Texas Longhorns started to swirl once again. Now, in case you are one of the fans that does not even watch games but enjoys the right to brag about your superior team or if you have lived under a rock with Spongebob's friend Patrick, let's first get up to speed on why these rumors originally started to circulate earlier this season.

Smoke started to rise after week 3 when Longhorns Head Coach Mack Brown lead the team to 1-2 to kickoff the season. At this time "Nick Saban 2014" shirts started to pop up in Austin. This is obviously something Saban could not control nor prevent. On October 23rd, a report from the website “Inside Texas” surfaced with details about a trip Saban's wife, Terry, had taken to Austin. The report included realtor information, ties with that agent to the athletic department, shady real estate dealings in Alabama, and Saban's relationship with Texas athletic department employees who likely helped set up the meeting. However, the report concedes that Mrs. Saban stated that she was only interested in purchasing a "vacation home" in the area. Of course every one of us have always wanted to take that dream vacation to...Texas? Following the stealth-like presence of Terry in Austin, reports released of a phone conversation between Nick Saban's agent, Jimmy Sexton, and Wallace Hall, a member of the University of Texas Board of Regents. This report from the Associated Press :

"Regent Wallace Hall says he spoke by telephone with Saban's agent, Jimmy Sexton, a few days after the Jan. 7 BCS championship game. Tom Hicks, a former regent, also was on the call with Sexton. It was not clear who initiated the meeting. Sexton did not return a call seeking comment."

After talking to Sexton, Hall reportedly approached current Texas coach Mack Brown about retiring. Brown declined, and the matter "was dropped." Also in on the call, according to Hall, was former Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks who was on the board when Brown was hired in 1997. As we all know now, Mack Brown announced he will be stepping down on Saturday night. As the coach of the Longhorns for the past 16 seasons, it is quite disheartening to see this man be shoved out the door in Phillip Fulmer-fashion. But this is the day and age in which we live, where schools have no shame and coaches have no dignity.

Even with all these things considered, we should believe Saban when he says he is "too old" to start a head coaching career elsewhere. Taking this man’s word has worked so well for his former assistant coaches and players in the past. For the same people under that rock in Bikini Bottom or the ones riding on the horse trailer dubbed the "Bama Bandwagon", here are a few things to consider before you accept Nick Saban quotes as the red print in your Bible.

• In 1999, Saban had just wrapped up his fifth year of coaching the Michigan State Spartans. In his first four years in East Lansing, his team had finished with 6 wins three times and 7 wins once. By the end of the season, Nick Saban had transitioned the Spartans from a middle-of-the-road Big Ten program into a nine win success story. He began listening to other schools at the time, most notably Louisiana State University. Saban’s private correspondence turned into public chatter which prompted Michigan State officials to visit the home of the coach to talk about his rumored departure. While at the Saban residence, the officials questioned the coach about the whereabouts of his wife. Saban initially explained that his wife was simply at the store. When asked explicitly whether Terry was in Baton Rouge, Nick Saban admitted the truth and left for LSU the following morning.

• Flash forward to 2004. Nick had just completed his fifth season as head coach of the LSU Tigers. Unlike his mediocre tenure in Michigan State, Saban had enjoyed nothing but success in the Southeastern Conference. Over just five years time, he had acquired two SEC championships and one national title. His worst season in Baton Rouge was an eight win campaign two years before and was a win total some fan bases would die for. Saban was coming off a 9 win regular season and using his past successes as a primary recruiting tool in the homes of top recruits across the country. As Saban is on the road recruiting, no one at LSU had any idea that he was about to test his luck in the National Football League. Why would he do something as stupid as go to the NFL after all the hard work of stock piling talent at LSU? While recruiting, then Miami Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga approached Saban, offered him a truck load of money (there it is) and by Christmas Day Saban was an NFL coach.

• It’s December 21, 2006, and Nick Saban is nearing the end of his second year as the "Nicktator" of the Miami Dolphins. Coming off a 9-7 season in 2005 when the Dolphins narrowly missed the playoffs, Saban’s squad was 6-8 and without a shot at postseason play. Despite two years of Saban and two years without playoff berths, Huizenga was still on record as being confident in Saban. The University of Alabama had fired head coach Mike Shula that November and all signs pointed toward Nick Saban being the next head coach of the Crimson Tide—so much so that Saban was forced to go on record regarding the overtures coming from Tuscaloosa.

"I guess I have to say it. I’m not going to be the Alabama coach. I don’t control what people say. I don’t control what people put on dot-com or anything else. So I’m just telling you there’s no significance, in my opinion, about this, about me, about any interest that I have in anything other than being the coach here." — Nick Saban.

Despite the adamant reassurance, Nick Saban signed an 8-year $32 million deal on January 4, 2007, to be the next head coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide.

If I had a dollar for every time Nick Saban lied about taking a coaching job elsewhere, I would have three dollars. That would be enough to buy myself a cute little elephant sticker to wear on my left cheek at the Alabama game. I realize this is hard to digest since Saban is such a pleasant human being and an all-around likable guy, but some of us have a hard time pretending that these incidents never happened. For the delusional and slightly mentally unstable, these things are erased from memory when there are 3 crystal balls sitting in your trophy case. For instance, Charlie Sheen (yes, I'm taking it there) was arrested on December 25th of 2009 for assaulting his wife, Brooke Mueller in Aspen, Colorado. On October 26, 2010, the police removed Sheen from his suite at the Plaza Hotel after he reportedly, in a Lindsay Lohan-style cocaine rage, caused $7,000 in damage. All the while, Sheen was the 2004 spokesperson for the Lee National Denim Day breast cancer fundraiser that raised millions of dollars for research and education regarding the disease. He continued to be a major donor and supporter of "Aid For AIDS" since 2006, donated one dollar from each ticket sold from his “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option Show” 2011 tour to the Red Cross Japanese Earthquake Relief Fund, and donated $1 million to the USO. This is the largest single donation ever given to the troop morale-boosting organization.

As you can see now, you have already completely forgotten about Charlie's cocaine induced domestic violence rampages. All it took was reading a few good acts and all is forgotten. Although Sheen's definition of "winning" is a little different than Saban's version, this is the exact way the Crimson Tide nation views their fearless leader. Nick Saban is a liar and there is not much he, nor anyone else, can do at this point to change that fact. The spineless directors and trustees of the University of Alabama Athletic Departments (who have proved their incompetence long before Saban arrived) have once again put their school in jeopardy by negotiating the largest contract in college football without including a buyout clause. Ironically, Nick Saban has purportedly agreed to an extension with the Crimson Tide. It is important to clarify that the word “extension” here is, at best, a red herring and, at worst, disingenuous code for “give me a pay raise and I’ll consider not leaving for Austin, Texas.” Prior to this most recent “extension,” Saban was already under contract with the University of Alabama through 2020, or the year of his 69th birthday. Given the fact that Saban’s contracts in Tuscaloosa have notoriously omitted buyout clauses, adding a durational term to a Nick Saban contract is like claiming Cam Newton was paid to play at Auburn—it doesn’t really make any difference. Although the exact terms of the new contract have not been made public, reports indicate that Saban’s yearly salary will increase from $5.4 million to somewhere between the range of $7 and $7.5 million. With all that being said, Nicky can take that contract with no buyout clause and, at any time, stick it in the paper shredder and skip town.

This week Nick Saban has invited former USC Head Coach Lane Kiffin to "assess the offense." Whatever that means. Tuscaloosa smells fishier than a humid Florida day at Sea World right now and this circus will continue until Texas hires a new head coach or until we see Nick Saban on the sideline of Alabama's 2014 season opener. I suggest grabbing some popcorn and getting prepared to watch the fireworks. Roll Tide.

Contact Andrew: andrew@wdng.net
twitter.com/AndrewWDNG

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Keywords: Nick Saban,University of Alabama,University of Texas,Mack Brown,SEC,Lane Kiffin,Miami Dolphins,Michigan State,Auburn University,LSU,Iron Bowl,

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