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You vs your co-worker: How to win disputes at work

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Intra-office conflicts often happen because of the way different people or groups operate mentally. Simplistically, I look at how a person’s typical use of their brain affects the way that they approach problems. This can easily be divided into feelings (i.e. limbic) and thinking (i.e. cognitive). Thus a person who takes a rather emotional approach will frequently be in conflicts with those who are thinkers. Likewise, if a thinking person attempts to reason with a feeling one, they will not connect. Of course, this does not mean that two limbic-oriented people will not have a difficulty resolving conflicts. If they are too different in their feelings, this is attack/fight-flight mode will always cause problems. On the other hand, two thinkers can generally reason or argue their way out of a problem.

Emotional approaches almost never result in any resolution. Generally, when one of the parties is a thinker and the other a feeler, the former needs to acknowledge the latter’s emotions. This will partially defuse the situation. If a feeler does not believe that they are being acknowledged, they will fall into a fight-flight situation. Matters will go increasingly downhill from there. However, once their emotions are acknowledged by expressing empathy, then there is room to move them back to a more cognitive/reasoning mode.

There are a couple of other factors here. First, not everyone has the same empathy skills. Generally, this equates to the development of a specific part of the brain (i.e. parts of the inferior temporal lobes). This generally is the result of proper nurturing and socialization early in life. When this does not happen, a person is less empathetic and more prone to have psychopathic tendencies. This also means that even a thinker (such as someone who has Asperger-like tendencies suh as Albert Einstein) may have problems connecting. Therefore, this may create a situation where the thinker cannot defuse an emotional situation by showing empathy.

Another problem is the propensity for an individual to display the appropriate inhibition (generally meaning a dysfunctional right orbitofrontal cortex). When this happens, a tactless person will tend to say or do the wrong thing and make a difficult situation worse.

A conflict can be handled best by showing empathy and moving the other party into a more rational mode. Things will go much better if at least one of the people is rational, empathetic, and has the appropriate tact.

For more information please visit Transformation Solutions for local therapy services or TimBrunson.com for clinical hypnotherapy products.






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Keywords: Hypnotherapy, hypnosis, psychotherapy, psychology, conflicts, work situations, management, human relations, HR

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